Chivalry, You There?

I hear many women crying out in exasperation, "Where are all the decent men these days?!" We frequently hear the term "douchbag" when referring to men in today's generation, and I can't help but wonder are we partially responsible for this? Is chivalry dead because the expectation and desire of chivalry no longer exists? 

So of course I am not saying that women are breeding douchbags, BUT perhaps there is an abundance of such men because women are not standing firm on their standards and expectations as strongly as they used to? I do not believe chivalry is dead. Rather, I believe men's ability for chivalry is quietly tucked away for the perfect someone who deserves no less. Women have significantly lowered their standards and expectations when it comes to the opposite sex. With this kind of attitude, you can very well forget chivalry, and leave your childhood dreams in finding that respectful and chivalrous man by the doorstep.  

There are many women today who want to find their prince charming and find the man of their dreams. Yet their actions say otherwise. Many are forgetting about the "courting" process of romance. Call me old fashioned, but I think this is critical in developing any romantic relationship. Many jump so quickly into all the perks of a relationship, without taking the deserved and much needed process in getting to know each other, figuring out if there is legitimate chemistry. Oh and FYI, boy meets girl, gets hammered, sparks fly is NOT the chemistry I am referring to. This is what you refer to as lust, not chemistry. Chemistry is based on mutual attraction, respect, and connection. Get to know each other! 

For those who constantly find themselves ending up with the wrong guy, stop judging the entire male population and really invest in some time to self-reflect. If you keep finding yourself with the same kind of guys, you may be the one sending out vibes that attract these men. Give yourself more respect and be confident in who you are. Know what you want and don't sacrifice for anything less. Don't let anyone tell you your standards are too high. If he thinks you are worth it, he will do what it takes to meet you there. But at the same time remember to have realistic expectations. After all no guy or girl is 100% perfect.

Ladies, don't give up on finding that perfect gentleman. Chivalry is not dead! You just need to possess the right attitude and approach when meeting men. Hold yourself to a higher standard, present yourself with class, and expect no less than the perfect gentleman every women deserves. 

xoxo

Putting the Pieces Together

You have to start somewhere.

You have a dream, a goal, a mission, but oftentimes it is just all too overwhelming when you realistically think about reaching them. Any goal, big or small takes smaller steps to get there. It takes persistence and determination. These are two qualities that are critical to reach whatever it is you are trying to obtain.

I have found, during my on and off again process of applying to graduate programs, that it is ok to delay some time before you start the process of getting to where you want to be. It is not about how to get there first but it is ALL about doing it within the accurate time schedule.

As I looked at all my peers going to grad school, doing big things, seeming like they had their life on track, I kept drowning in my thoughts of "What the hell am I doing?" But the realization I have come to, is that it is not about following everyone else's footsteps. They are living their dream; let them, and be happy for them. I finally realized I should stop comparing myself to others and just do what I need to do according to the time schedule that is right for me. I realized that the reason why I didn't push myself to apply to graduate schools earlier (like I had originally planned) was because I was too overwhelmed. I was too overwhelmed with the big picture that I couldn't come back down to reality and put the smaller pieces together to get there. Also, I just wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to start the long arduous process of applying to grad schools. But now, I feel it in my bones... I am READY.

The time has come and I am excited for this process. I am determined to do what it takes to apply and get there. And if I don't get in, it's ok. Get back up and apply again. As I take a break from doing my apps, I write this blog post as a reminder to myself and to anyone else who may read this, it's not about how fast you get there, but doing things according to your time schedule and simply knowing what and when is right for you.

Tailor-make the process to fit you. That is the only way you can achieve the big picture and truly be happy with each step you take in getting there.