"What Should I Do?"

From time to time my clients will ask "What do you think? What should I do?" 

As therapists, we don't spoon-feed our clients answers to life's most challenging problems. 

We give them an opportunity to look within, give them the space to get in touch with their true feelings and thought process. Why? Because we often don't give ourselves the luxury to sit quietly and reflect on what is really going on inside.

What is your gut telling you?

What is blocking you from moving forward?

What is the worst that can happen? 

What are you most afraid of? 

What is the best move for you right now in this moment and time?

You know you best. Trust that. 

"Deep down you already know the truth."

You Are More Than Your Depression

Depression does not define who you fundamentally are. 

You are more than your depression.

Depression can happen to ANYONE.

Sadness is a human emotion we all feel (some just feel it more than others).

You cannot fight the Black Dog by doing nothing
Take ACTION.
There is HOPE.

Talk to a spiritual leader, friends/family, therapist, and or psychiatrist.
You can't fight the Black Dog alone.

2014: New Year, New (blog) Changes

Its been about 2 years since I've written my last blog, and throughout those two years a lot has changed. I fulfilled my dream job as a personal matchmaker, entered grad school, and am now a therapist in training seeing clients each week. I still love fashion, but won't be posting any more fashion posts thanks to more appropriate social media outlets (aka pinterest, instagram).

As I reflect on the past year as a therapist in training, I am grateful for the moments of inspiration that transpired in and out of the therapy room. This is a place I will continue to write about things that inspire me

... but in much shorter entry posts, because ain't nobody got time for that ;)

Stay inspired!

Chivalry, You There?

I hear many women crying out in exasperation, "Where are all the decent men these days?!" We frequently hear the term "douchbag" when referring to men in today's generation, and I can't help but wonder are we partially responsible for this? Is chivalry dead because the expectation and desire of chivalry no longer exists? 

So of course I am not saying that women are breeding douchbags, BUT perhaps there is an abundance of such men because women are not standing firm on their standards and expectations as strongly as they used to? I do not believe chivalry is dead. Rather, I believe men's ability for chivalry is quietly tucked away for the perfect someone who deserves no less. Women have significantly lowered their standards and expectations when it comes to the opposite sex. With this kind of attitude, you can very well forget chivalry, and leave your childhood dreams in finding that respectful and chivalrous man by the doorstep.  

There are many women today who want to find their prince charming and find the man of their dreams. Yet their actions say otherwise. Many are forgetting about the "courting" process of romance. Call me old fashioned, but I think this is critical in developing any romantic relationship. Many jump so quickly into all the perks of a relationship, without taking the deserved and much needed process in getting to know each other, figuring out if there is legitimate chemistry. Oh and FYI, boy meets girl, gets hammered, sparks fly is NOT the chemistry I am referring to. This is what you refer to as lust, not chemistry. Chemistry is based on mutual attraction, respect, and connection. Get to know each other! 

For those who constantly find themselves ending up with the wrong guy, stop judging the entire male population and really invest in some time to self-reflect. If you keep finding yourself with the same kind of guys, you may be the one sending out vibes that attract these men. Give yourself more respect and be confident in who you are. Know what you want and don't sacrifice for anything less. Don't let anyone tell you your standards are too high. If he thinks you are worth it, he will do what it takes to meet you there. But at the same time remember to have realistic expectations. After all no guy or girl is 100% perfect.

Ladies, don't give up on finding that perfect gentleman. Chivalry is not dead! You just need to possess the right attitude and approach when meeting men. Hold yourself to a higher standard, present yourself with class, and expect no less than the perfect gentleman every women deserves. 

xoxo

Putting the Pieces Together

You have to start somewhere.

You have a dream, a goal, a mission, but oftentimes it is just all too overwhelming when you realistically think about reaching them. Any goal, big or small takes smaller steps to get there. It takes persistence and determination. These are two qualities that are critical to reach whatever it is you are trying to obtain.

I have found, during my on and off again process of applying to graduate programs, that it is ok to delay some time before you start the process of getting to where you want to be. It is not about how to get there first but it is ALL about doing it within the accurate time schedule.

As I looked at all my peers going to grad school, doing big things, seeming like they had their life on track, I kept drowning in my thoughts of "What the hell am I doing?" But the realization I have come to, is that it is not about following everyone else's footsteps. They are living their dream; let them, and be happy for them. I finally realized I should stop comparing myself to others and just do what I need to do according to the time schedule that is right for me. I realized that the reason why I didn't push myself to apply to graduate schools earlier (like I had originally planned) was because I was too overwhelmed. I was too overwhelmed with the big picture that I couldn't come back down to reality and put the smaller pieces together to get there. Also, I just wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to start the long arduous process of applying to grad schools. But now, I feel it in my bones... I am READY.

The time has come and I am excited for this process. I am determined to do what it takes to apply and get there. And if I don't get in, it's ok. Get back up and apply again. As I take a break from doing my apps, I write this blog post as a reminder to myself and to anyone else who may read this, it's not about how fast you get there, but doing things according to your time schedule and simply knowing what and when is right for you.

Tailor-make the process to fit you. That is the only way you can achieve the big picture and truly be happy with each step you take in getting there.

Positivity in the New Year

The thoughts you possess make up who you are. These thoughts turn into actions and ultimately shape who you are today. Thus you cannot BE positive without THINKING positively because your actions stem from the thoughts you carry. 

However, changing our thoughts is no easy task. The kind of thoughts we possess have been with us for the majority of our life, and thus to change something so rooted in our core is a difficult challenge. What has helped me is to write down the areas of change I would like to see.  Ever hear of the phrase, "Out of sight, out of mind?" It is important to be conscious about the things we hope to improve on if we truly want to see results. Write down your area of change and write smaller goals underneath to help you achieve the bigger goal. 

Think about how you can enter into the new year with a positive enthusiasm for the next chapter of your life, year 2012. 

A Note of Appreciation

To all those who find the time to check out my blog, I wanted to say a big THANK YOU! As this is my very first blog, I would never have expected to reach 1000 views so soon. I would love to hear any kind of feedback on what you would like to see more of in my future blog posts. See the list below or make up your own topic and let me know what you would like to see!

Thank you so much everybody for showing the love, and Happy Holidays!



1. Relationships
2. Dating
3. Food
4. Fashion
5. Inspirational quotes
6. Beauty
7. Pop Culture
8. Personal blog entries
9. Interior Design
10. DIY

Believe in You

You are the best version of yourself when you are able to completely embrace your unique identity. Invest time into finding your true self.  Be yourself, and be content with who you are. 

With the ever-increasing infiltration of pop culture and media spilling into our everyday lives, we inconspicuously entangle ourselves with identities seen on TV as our own. We grow further from a sense of true self, and find difficulty in facing our true self, weaknesses and all. Believe in YOU. Believe that you have something special to offer the world, something that is uniquely your own. 

Only when you invest time in finding who YOU really are, can you embrace and excite a consuming passion stemming from the unique gift that has been given to you. Don't force yourself to wear a shoe that does not fit. Wear your own and be proud. Be the best YOU you can be. Believe in yourself.

"Be Yourself Because Everyone Else is Taken."

Take Action. NO to Police Brutality!

I ask all of my readers to please join in petition against (UC) police brutality. There was a recent incident of police violence against non-violent student demonstrators, and this should not go unnoticed. Watching the incident really had my blood boiling at the sheer casualness of the whole fiasco brought on by the police. Take Action!

Please click the link below to sign the petition to end UC Police Brutality!

http://salsa3.salsalabs.com/o/2118/p/dia/action/public/?action_KEY=6837

Inspiration: "I Was Here"

I don't usually put up music video posts, but this one was just so powerful and inspirational that I had to make an exception. There are not many songs in our pop culture era with a message this strong, let alone the powerful vocals to match. 

If I could only use one word to describe Beyonce in this music video it would be, PASSION. Her passion for life is so clearly visible to our eyes in this video, making it all the more powerful. 

Never lose your passion for the life you live. Watching this music video definitely moved me, and I hope you too will get inspired to leave your mark on this world....

 And here is "I Was Here" by Beyonce. The essence of inspiration. 

Giving Love

Our actions stem from our experiences. If we have never received love, it is most certainly difficult to give love. However, those who have never received love are those who need it the most. 

We often find it is much easier to be kind to those who are kind to us in return. Funny how this works, when the ones who really need kindness and love are those too afraid to give it. As human beings, we thrive on relationships and prosper on love. Even though it may be the most difficult to give, give kindness and love to those who are the hardest to love, for they need love the most. 

Be kind and love without the hidden motivation of wanting anything in return. Definitely a big challenge I must take for myself!

Making it Happen

As I lay here.. procrastinating, this quote hits me like a brick as I begin to reflect. For one thing, our culture today has transformed into the mecca of procrastination. Some claim, "I'm my best when I have the pressure of doing things last minute." Unfortunately, it's nearly impossible to obtain long term goals this way. Dreams cannot be obtained through last minute decisions and actions. In fact, it takes months and potentially years of planning and preparing ourselves to get on the track that will bring us one step closer in achieving our dreams. Life doesn't always go as planned. But by setting ourselves up for success and preparing ourselves towards achieving our dreams, we can be one step closer in turning our dreams into reality.

If we could utilize every single day to its full potential, think about all the things you could accomplish as we reflect back on year 2011. Don't just dream it, do it. For most of us, nothing is just handed to us. We have to put in the time and dedication to achieve the things we only dream about. 

Start today. Take a moment to reflect. 

Where will you be a year from now? Picture it, plan it, write it down, and then... do it. Start today so you can be where you want to be one year from today. 

It Starts from the Mind

In everything we do, our behavior and action stems from what is within. Namely, our mind and our thoughts. What we put into our mind as knowledge, sets the tone for our actions. In this way, it is quite easy to know what may be brewing in someone's mind. Negative actions are created by negative thoughts, and likewise, positive actions are created by positive thoughts. Tension towards others may stem from hurt and scars that were obtained from viewing, in our minds, a situation as negative and hurtful. In these circumstances, we often point fingers and try to change others. 

However, as we all know, it's nearly impossible to force change on others. The easiest way is to take it upon ourselves to change our own thoughts about the circumstances we may be in, for our own sanity. Unfortunately, we all know that this is no easy task, and in fact, this has been a personal challenge I've been struggling with as well. It's definitely a difficult one, but take that first step in restructuring your thoughts. Change your negative perspectives into positive ones. 

And when all else fails, then pray because that is all you have left. 

Work Space Haven: Inspire Brilliance

I find that the space you work in influences the quality of work you produce. It's the environment, the aura, down to the intricate details of how your work space is organized and designed, that truly creates the perfect work space to keep you motivated and inspired. It's an aesthetic we often take for granted. Invest some time creating your work space haven and make heading for work more enjoyable!